The Abomination begins…
I’ve resisted Twilight for quite some time now, and the only reason I watched the first movie was Buffy. Yes, Buffy. The Vampire Slayer. She who can kill within seconds. Now why’s that, you might ask? Quite simple: We’ve embarked on a campaign in the BtVS Roleplaying Game, yours truly being the evil gamemaster and my friends assuming the parts of Buffy, Willow, and Spike. Their first task was to rescue some misguarded vampire groupies – a.k.a. Twi-Hards – from eternal doom. The Twi-Hards kept nagging our heroes about Edward and Bella, going on and on and on about how great their romance was. Eventually, the Twi-Hards were killed off by real vampires, thus realizing that vampires are not romantic and sparkling at all – oh gosh! I admit I borrowed the plot from an episode in BtVS Season 2, “Lie to me”, except that, in the end, I introduced Edward himself, expecting the players to kill the whimp. They didn’t. They figured killing the guy would be like killing an innocent puppy so they let him get away with whatever the whimp does. Up to that point, neither of us had seen a Twilight movie or read any of the books so we figured it was about time to change that.
Bad idea.
We rented the movie, got lots of alcohol and braced ourselves for the worst. Our expectations – if we had any at all – were shattered. During the first 10 minutes of the movie, we were roaring with laughter, had to rewind scenes because the cheesy dialouge had been drowned in our laughter. What went wrong? Was it us? Were we not fit to understand and encompass the beauty that is Twilight?
No.
The movie is, to put it simply, crap. Come on. There’s a (supposedly) good-looking guy falling in love with an emo-girl for no reason at all. Both are frighteningly pale, both are emos, both have but one facial expression that they wear throughout the movie. He saves her from a truck and tries to convince her that he did so because of an “adrenaline rush”. She asks him about his strange eyes, he mumbles something about phosphor and dashes across the hallway. Pretty convincing, ey? But there’s more. In a supposedly dramatic scene, Edward reveals himself to Bella – “I’ll show you what I’m really like”. And what does he do? He steps into the sunlight, unbuttons his shirt – and starts to sparkle. For Christ’s sake, this guy is supposed to be a vampire! Vampires don’t sparkle! Vampires are evil creatures of the night that feast on the blood of humans. They don’t stroll around in daylight, all pale and sparkly. My favourite scene is when Edward tells Bella in a voice forshadowing doom: “This is the face of evil.” AND THE GUY STARTS TO SPARKLE EVEN MORE! He even makes a special sparkling noise! Come on, how can you buy THAT?
But there’s more. Edward tells Bella that he’s killed people which is a pretty bad thing to do – I think we all agree on that. And what’s her reaction? “Oh, I don’t mind.” Gorram, girl, the guy’s a killer! He’s watching you in your sleep, he’s killed people and you think it’s romantic? What kind of moron are you, anyway?
There’s more to come. The dialouge is just plain awful. Whoever wrote the script should be awarded a Golden Raspberry. Twice. At least. The plot is awfully lame and not even consistent; if I had gotten a cent for every loophole, I’d be a millionare by now. But the worst feature are the vampires. They walk around in broad daylight. They are vegetarians (even Louis from Interview with the Vampire wasn’t THAT lame). They SPARKLE. No decent vampire sparkles, for Christ’s sake. I’m quite comfortable with new interpretations of the vampire myth, but this is just way beyond. Twilight is a teenage love-story – an average teenage love-story that would loose all its appeal if the vampires were removed. It’s an abomination. It’s a story for teenage girls that dream of a knight in shining armour, except that the knight is, in fact, a vampire – but at least he’s shining resp. sparkling. This is a story for people that are scared of vampires like Dracula, vampires that suck blood, vampires that kill. It’s a story for people who think that vampires are romantic creatures. Boy, you’re so wrong. If there were any real vampires out there, they’d kill Stephenie Meyer for what she’s done to their reputation. Above all, Ms. Meyer is a bad author. I’ve read excerpts of the first Twilight novel and was appalled. What, in the name of God, is an estrogen rush? How can you go on and on and on about how Edward’s so beautiful and shiny? What’s up with his sweet breath? Since when do vampires breathe? And what’s with the half human, half vampire child? Come on. You know it’s ridiculous. Go and watch a decent vampire movie. Too much blood? Well – your bad.
Sick people…
I’ve stated in my posting on the “about”-page that I’m glad to have left journalism as such behind because it can be a very sickening trade. You need to talk to people who have been abused, beaten, have lost a relative, a child, a husband, have experienced catastrophes and accidents. It takes a lot to stomach such things, yet writing about the sick things happening in this world pays some people’s rents. Still, I cannot help but wonder how some people can still sleep at night; I’m not referring to journalists alone who are trying to sell a story and benefit from it. No. It’s people like you and me that show their dark side when it comes to profit.
I don’t know how many of you are familiar with the incest case of Amstetten – a man imprisoned his own daughter for 24 years, abused her and fathered seven children, three of them being held captive as well while three were allowed to live with their grandpartens (the wife obviously not knowing what was going on and buying the husband’s story that the children were left on their porch by the supposedly disappeared daughter). It’s bad enough that all the media provide us with daily reports on this ugly matter; some stick to their values and report only what they know for a fact, others – the yellow press – go very far in order to acquire more readers. But nothing is as disgusting as this, reported in an article on http://derstandard.at: Neighbours of the family are selling information and pictures of the now 42 year old woman to journalists. The article reports that an italian journalists actually paid 4,000 euros for a picture of that woman showing her as a child. Other neighbours seem to offer their balconys, windows, porches – for a “good” view on the “house of horrors” and, of course, not for free. I cannot help but wonder what makes these people tick. They insult the victims. And they have to answer the question what on earth happened to their compassion, their humanity. I know all of us need money, and probably everybody has their price and can be bought. But this is just wrong. Think about it: Would you want your picture in all the newspapers, on every single tv-screen not just in Austria but all over the world? Would you want every single gruesome detail sold to greedy media, would you want yourselves to be exposed like this? If your answer to this is yes, you might feel comfortable with people selling information and pictures related to a horrible crime. You might also want to check your values, your compassion and humanity.
But the matter is, I think, a little more complex than this. It’s not just some greedy people trying to make some profit out of a tragedy. It’s also the media’s role that needs to be looked at here. If the media weren’t so keen on giving us every tiny detail on a crime, would someone actually sell it to them? And if we, the readers and viewers, wouldn’t be so keen on devouring every detail, shivering and going “Oh dear god, how could this have happened?”, thinking that such things only happen to “the others” – if we, as consumers of media, wouldn’t demand more information and more details, would there actually be a market for it? Would journalists try to outbid themselves on information or would they be content with what the police and lawyers give them? I know that I was never comfortable with digging around in other people’s lives, with trying to dig out every gruesome detail people were willing to share. I think that maybe it’s about time for all of us to reconsider our values and to be content with what the police is passing on to journalists.
This brings me to another point: What happens if someone doesn’t behave like a victim and chooses to withhold information even though the public thinks we have a right to know everything? I can tell you: The public doesn’t approve and feels betrayed. And if that victim actually is given their own talkshow and is suspected of making money, envy raises its ugly head. In case you’re wondering what I’m referring to: It’s the case of Natascha Kampusch, also held prison in a cellar for over eight years until she managed to escape about two years ago. Kampusch, obviously an intelligent and very brave young woman, chose not to share every tiny bit of information on her years in the cellar. And the public takes this personally. No one would admit, of course, that they are eager for gruesome details. Instead, people hide their anger about being “left out” behind statements like “Oh no, she’s on tv again. Why doesn’t she leave us alone?” In fact, she does. And it’s her right to complain about journalists making up rumours about her years in the cellar or publishing pictures that show her with a guy who, according to the yellow press, can, of course, be no other than her boyfriend. It’s the public which doesn’t leave her alone because she doesn’t behave like your average victim, because she has courage and intelligence. People obviously don’t like that about victims which proves once again that the human mind can be a strange thing, working along lines that can hardly be understood. I, for my part, don’t understand it. Not at all.
